I hope I can get through this without crying too much. Caroline suggested I have my 15 year chip with me, and I do.

My favorite song from one of our songwriter friends, Ed Vizard, starts
"Words are only words and they have no regard for what they say
Sometimes they're all we have and one can use them anyway"

These words will have to do.

I don't think Liz realized how much she was loved by so many people. She helped so many people that are struggling with her death. Besides those of us here, there are so many others present in spirit and on the Internet, across the ocean to the U.K. and reaching to Nicaragua and elsewhere.

After Caroline, Liz was my best friend and favorite person. She and I would text back and forth during the day. If I didn't hear from her, I wondered why.

I know she loved me. One early memory is when she blurted "My guy's name is Deedo." My last sustained memory of her alive is the night she came home from the hospital. She vomited on the carpet and called me to ask me to clean it up. As I did, she repeated and repeated "You're the best Dad". I tried to be.

The most important part of my day is my prayer routine. I usually start, and restart, during the night and continue throughout the day. Sometimes I complete it in about 30 minutes before I get out of bed in the morning. It starts with 1 Corinthians 13, then Psalm 118:24 - "This is the day the Lord hath made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it." - then the 23rd Psalm, then prayers that have come to me in various ways and forms, in this sanctuary, in recovery and on the Internet.

One of the cornerstones is an extended Serenity Prayer: God, grant me the serenity, and the humility, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage, and the grace, to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living this one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, Knowing that hardship is the pathway to peace, Taking this world as it is, not as I would have it, Knowing that you will make all things right if I surrender to your will, That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you in the next.

Liz was in such pain. I trust that she is happy, joyous and free in her new life, but I will miss her more than words can say.